The one man who will listen
I remember there was a point in my life whereby I was very down, my so-called friends didn’t gave two hoots about me, my boyfriend dumped me, my parents ignored me. I did many bad things in life, that why I am where I am now. I was at the lowest point of my life and yet, nobody was willing to help me. I remember sitting down on a bench late one evening, sulking. Suddenly, a man sat down beside me, and talked to me. “Child, why do you look so down?” he asked. “I am just very down in the dumps; no one is helping me or supporting me…” I replied with a sad sigh. He shook his head, “No…that can’t be true, you just have to tell someone about your problems, I’m sure there would be one person who will…” This time, it was my turn to shake my head,
“No, it’s impossible…” The man placed his hand onto my shoulder,
“All things are possible…”
I continued to shake my head,
“I’m too tired…”
He replied,
“I will give you rest…”
Our conversation continued on somewhat like this,
“Nobody loves me…”
“I love you…”
“I can’t go on…”
“My grace is sufficient…”
“I can’t figure things out…”
“I will direct your steps…”
“I can’t do it!”
“You can do all things…”
“I am not able!”
“I am able…”
“It’s not worth it…”
“It will be worth it…”
“I can’t forgive myself…”
“I forgive you…”
“I’m poor…”
“I will supply your needs…”
“I’m afraid…”
“I have not given you a spirit of fear…”
“I’m always worried and frustrated…”
“Cast all your cares on me…”
“I don’t have enough faith…”
“I’ve given you a measure of faith…”
“I’m not smart enough…”
“I give you wisdom…”
“I feel alone…”
“I will never leave you nor forsake you…”
“How do you know I will be alright?” I asked the man. “Because, I know so…have faith, child…” he replied. “There will be one man out there who will listen to you every time you have problems…” he said. I looked up to the man and asked, “Who?” The man stood up and lifted up both of his palms in front of me. I saw two punctured wounds on both of his hands. I sat there dumbfounded; I looked up to the man, wide-eyed. “It will be I, Jesus…” And with a blink of an eye, the man disappeared.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Valentine's Day
Walking around town with the color pink draped every where; it was that time of year again. Even a four year old would know what day it was. Even so, I didn’t want my mind to know what day it was. This year it wasn’t the same as the last three years. I tried my best to not see the pink frills, balloons, candies and teddy bears around me, and walked towards the national library where I thought that no one would be present there on that particular day.
On my way to the library, I saw many couples cling onto each other with teddy bears, candy boxes or just a stalk of rose in their hand. I tried my best to ignore whatever I saw and continued on to the library. When I stepped into the library, I showed my student ID to the lady at the counter and made my way to the bookshelves. I picked a book and made my way to the table at the far corner of the room. I placed my bag beside me, pulled up my hoodie, and popped in my headphones and started reading the book.
Not long after that, something else caught my attention. At the other corner of the room, a guy and a girl sat together at a very close distance. Soon, I was peeking at them. I assumed both of them were together and that they were to be doing a project, which ended up whispering into each others’ ears. The guy whispered something into the girl’s ears and playfully kissed her on the cheek.
I didn’t watched what happened after that. My heart felt like it went ten feet down the grave. Tears suddenly appeared. Silent sobs were there as I sniffed. I suddenly felt very alone. I pulled my hoodie lower so that no one could see the tears. I didn’t even bother to put the book back. I stood up, grabbed my bag and left the room.
I didn’t know whether to go at that moment. Then, I decided to just go to the one place where I always felt safe, secured. The park was empty, not one soul was there. I went over to the same spot I would always go and sat down there on the soft grass under the huge oak tree. I took out my headphones but my hoodie remained. Traces of the tears wear still there but had dried up. I decided to close my eyes and try to just forget everything I had then in my head, but not for long.
Soon, memories of the past came. I saw his face, the jet black hair, the dark eyes, and the warm smile. The same goofy smile that always makes me smile too. I remember the time when he brought me here on the very same day two years ago, to watch the mesmerizing sunset. I leaned into his embrace while we just sat there, watching how the dark blue replaced the warm orange hues. I missed how he would stroke my hair, whispering into my ear, saying that he loves me. I missed those precious times which I never knew it would eventually come into an end. Suddenly, I caught myself crying again, this time with audible sobs. I dried the tears, waiting for the sunset again.
The bright yellow rays turned to warm mesmerizing hues of orange, and to dark red. Soon, the dark blue had taken its place. It seemed like it was exactly two years ago. I could actually feel his presence here then. But I knew it wasn’t true. Suddenly, my phone vibrated. I took it out and saw a very familiar number on the caller ID. My heart started racing. Could it be him? I quickly clicked the green button and put it beside my ear. “Hello?” I said into the speaker. The warm familiar sound which I had missed so much answered my question. “Happy Valentine’s day, bunny-head…” I gave a small chuckle and a sniffed. I felt that my eyes were wet once again. I missed him so much.
On my way to the library, I saw many couples cling onto each other with teddy bears, candy boxes or just a stalk of rose in their hand. I tried my best to ignore whatever I saw and continued on to the library. When I stepped into the library, I showed my student ID to the lady at the counter and made my way to the bookshelves. I picked a book and made my way to the table at the far corner of the room. I placed my bag beside me, pulled up my hoodie, and popped in my headphones and started reading the book.
Not long after that, something else caught my attention. At the other corner of the room, a guy and a girl sat together at a very close distance. Soon, I was peeking at them. I assumed both of them were together and that they were to be doing a project, which ended up whispering into each others’ ears. The guy whispered something into the girl’s ears and playfully kissed her on the cheek.
I didn’t watched what happened after that. My heart felt like it went ten feet down the grave. Tears suddenly appeared. Silent sobs were there as I sniffed. I suddenly felt very alone. I pulled my hoodie lower so that no one could see the tears. I didn’t even bother to put the book back. I stood up, grabbed my bag and left the room.
I didn’t know whether to go at that moment. Then, I decided to just go to the one place where I always felt safe, secured. The park was empty, not one soul was there. I went over to the same spot I would always go and sat down there on the soft grass under the huge oak tree. I took out my headphones but my hoodie remained. Traces of the tears wear still there but had dried up. I decided to close my eyes and try to just forget everything I had then in my head, but not for long.
Soon, memories of the past came. I saw his face, the jet black hair, the dark eyes, and the warm smile. The same goofy smile that always makes me smile too. I remember the time when he brought me here on the very same day two years ago, to watch the mesmerizing sunset. I leaned into his embrace while we just sat there, watching how the dark blue replaced the warm orange hues. I missed how he would stroke my hair, whispering into my ear, saying that he loves me. I missed those precious times which I never knew it would eventually come into an end. Suddenly, I caught myself crying again, this time with audible sobs. I dried the tears, waiting for the sunset again.
The bright yellow rays turned to warm mesmerizing hues of orange, and to dark red. Soon, the dark blue had taken its place. It seemed like it was exactly two years ago. I could actually feel his presence here then. But I knew it wasn’t true. Suddenly, my phone vibrated. I took it out and saw a very familiar number on the caller ID. My heart started racing. Could it be him? I quickly clicked the green button and put it beside my ear. “Hello?” I said into the speaker. The warm familiar sound which I had missed so much answered my question. “Happy Valentine’s day, bunny-head…” I gave a small chuckle and a sniffed. I felt that my eyes were wet once again. I missed him so much.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
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