War

My heart and my mind,
Both at war,
Just to recover and move on.
My heart wants to do something to hurt herself,
My mind hancuffed her from doing so.
My mind said, "What do you wanna do? Throw yourself at him again and hoping everything would fall in its place?"
My heart surrenders and said, "I just miss him..."
My mind is at its cross paths,
Thinking whether to hold onto the key of the handcuffs,
Or throw it away.
The mind sees the heart at its tragic state,
The scars,
The unhealed wounds,
The dried marks of blood and tears.
The mind thought, 'Am I doing what's right?'
The mind had its firm stand,
But now not sure what is right.
Sigh.
More emotional spillage.

Falling apart

Well, its always bad to look back at a piece of your past just because you can't remember. But when you do, all you is not remembering all the bad memories but just that you miss him.
Crap.

Falling apart

Well, its always bad to look back at a piece of your past just because you can't remember. But when you do, all you is not remembering all the bad memories but just that you miss him.
Crap.

Game

Mind over heart. I have been telling myself to give up now...don't bother. But then again, I never did gave up. I guess my mind is stronger than what I thought. I guess its time to thing of something to write. :)

Pillows

I miss hugging my pillow to sleep with a smile on my face. For months or maybe even a year plus, I slept without much emotion. Maybe a tear or two, with a sad frown to top it off. I miss smiling and texting in the middle of the night. Sigh. The amount of changes between 2 years.

Thoughts that are about to spill...

Is never a good thing. I can't think of any decent thing to write. All I have in my mind is that I miss him. Still. Maybe because of the past memories I came across the other day while reading my past posts in this blogs. One caught my eye. It was the short poem I wrote as my facebook status then saying that I think I have fallen for him, but too afraid to say it out loud which might scare him away like the rests of my old crushes. But he wasn't dumb. He asked whether it was about him. I guess from there everything went from being acquantaince to a couple. Which is weird because we skipped a whole section of being friends and learning basic things about each other. We took the whole period of being together to do that. Maybe that is why its so hard being friend again when we were never friends in the first place? Just two sad people who jumped into a relationship too soon. Sigh. I seriously need a diversion to get out of this. Or let all of this simmer to the last drop. I should stop. He is never coming back. Even if he is, he is going to use me again.