Before this ends...

To be honest, every since May 2013, I can't write what I used to love to write, about love.

I guess my last relationship had taken away what I really love, writing. I remember writing every single thing, turning every single memory into a page length story. I remember every single feeling I had with the past relationships, the simple love, the feeling of a hug, the simple peck of a kiss, all onto a piece of paper. I guess its all over now.

Before the year ends, all I know is:
- I still have problems with physical touch, whether from friends and all.
-I saw my voice improve throughout the semester (even though not as much of an improvement compared to last year, but my voice have finally stabilized a few weeks ago).
-I have already given up in love now.
-I finally come to terms with my own enemy, myself.
-I am still as clueless as I am.

About the giving up in love part, its true. I don't bother about it anymore now. I see no point in even looking.

I used to believe that 'if it was meant to be yours, it will come back to you'. Now I see a new phrase, 'chase for what you think should be yours'. I give up in chasing anymore.

Now, I chase for different things. I am chasing my dream. My dream ever since 11, was to be an educator. What educator at that time, I was not sure. Now, I know, to be an educator of music. To nurture the world about music. To even nurture myself about it.

I have improve in my musicianship skills this year, but its still not enough.

I want to become a musician, not a pianist nor a singer.

I am growing a lot as a singer, and still growing. I don't feel I am growing as much as a pianist. I plan to teach both instruments, and maybe some sideline singing in the future, but more towards teaching.

I hope to fulfill my current dream, and hopes too.

Till then.