Wednesday, August 26, 2015

I remember.

I remember being caught of guard with what I felt, with what I was thinking, with what I was speaking. You know, someone once asked that when you felt happy, who was the first person do you think of? That will be the person who have had fallen for. Subconsciously, you know it.

I remember being really pissed at myself to have finally come into realization that I have fallen for you. I tried to actually avoid it. But I know very well it won't work that way. So, for once, I actually let it just go with the flow. If it was meant to be, it shall be. I may be an idiot to have done that. But I was already an idiot trying to avoid something that I will eventually falling even harder.

I remember that I somehow actually enjoyed your company, conversations I had with you, the stuff that we share. I may just be a sentimental person, but little things just somehow get me. But me being me, I won't say a word at all. People who knows me well something is different. But I still will keep my mouth shut about it. I may just be the type of person who just want to see how it all unravel.

I remember actually thinking why all of the sudden, we had been rather close. But me being me, after many heartbreaks and tears, I actually braced myself for what I am putting myself into, because I want to at least be ready if whatever I am feeling has to stop.

I remember being very careful, treading on the thinnest ice. And slowly putting up the walls around me, higher and higher. I know I have to be like this. Because I know he was not the one at all, even though I had fallen.

I remember, very well in fact, when whatever I have felt, needed to be stopped. Because you've found someone already. I was actually ready to stop. To stop feeling, to stop finally being a lil happy. Its really just one sided, just me. But then, for some odd reason I did fall for it.

I remember being happy for you, even till now. But, I also remember, having some tears in my eyes too.